after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
