My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
