DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I will die if light touches me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
