I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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