I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
