It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
