I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
