Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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