the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
a search helicopter?!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
