So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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