Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
