Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
