My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
