moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
