Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
