yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
