I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
