You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is Oprah even human
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
