i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
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Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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