In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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