Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Say something about gay babies.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
