We named our party play list daddy issues
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
