He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
