omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
