it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize