I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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