Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
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So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
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Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i think i just lost a toe
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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