Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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