I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
