can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
