If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
