Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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