i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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