apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
