To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
