You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
