just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I know her cup size but not her name....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
