Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize