I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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