I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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