Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
