the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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