Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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