Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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