Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize