I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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