I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
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Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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