its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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