it wasn't lemon gatorade
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
