Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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