is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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