Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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