sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I need to align my fucking chakras
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
