we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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