My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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