is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
