You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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