I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
