why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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